who only by moving can balance

(Bad days: I start out shaky from the pain and fatigue, go through being shaky from the opiates and fatigue, and by the time they've done their job I've forgotten what not being shaky is like - and I still don't particularly trust myself to move around the house - so it gets to 8pm before I put any sensible blood sugar in my mouth. At which point I go OH RIGHT IS THAT WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS.)

So I've mentioned that I'm starting to get into perfumery and the like.

This started out with being given an imp of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's A Wonderful Light: Three radiant ambers with honey, linden blossom, bourbon vanilla, and orange zest. The orange vanishes as soon as it's dried on my skin, and it ends up being a very rich vanilla-and-honey scent, with fleeting undertones from the amber developing with time.

And then Boything dragged me into a Penhaligon's, recently, and bought me Endymion:

Head Notes: Bergamot, Mandarin, Lavender and Sage

Heart Notes: Geranium and Coffee Absolute

Base Notes: Vetiver, Nutmeg, Black pepper, Cardamom, Musk, Leather, Sandalwood, Incense, Frankincense and Myrrh

I love Endymion. I love it to pieces. When it first goes on, it smells of apricots and vanilla on me, with something darker lurking underneath; after a few hours, it's mostly the leather, the pepper, the musk and the incense that come through, though the sage is still there if you're looking for it and there's a hint of nutmeg. If I'm struggling with insomnia, I'll put some on right before I go to bed, because it feels comforting and safe.

And... then I started thinking, and while fuzzy-headed today, I've spent a lot of time rummaging around BPAL's website, and various resale communities, and I've got a shortlist of things I'm trying to track down. I've focussed mostly on warm, dark scents, which is probably no surprise, but I've gone for a couple of brighter things too - and, of course, the set of Things That Smells Like The Celtic Fringes And Therefore Home. So now I'm going to make notes on the ones I'm after, and as and when I have bought them and they've arrived, I'll make notes about how they behave on me.

Part of why I'm suddenly so excited about this sort of thing is: I know dudes who use perfume. I know genderqueer people who use perfume. I've found a set of scents I really, really like on me, and I'm secure enough in my gender to have a play. The same's true of clothing - it's been a long, long process, but I'm finally getting to a place where I'm willing to experiment, and starting to realise that there's a way I want to dress for myself, not just to hide or to try to pass. And that's... very, very interesting to me; I'll try to make more sense out of it at some point when I'm less knackered. ;)

Wanderlust: Crossroads. The forks of the road: an in-between place, sacred and tangibly magickal in innumerable cultures and faiths. This scent is dark with mystery, taut with power. A chill twilit garden of blooms over dry earth and mosses, heavily laden with incense and offertory herbs. I'm not sure how I'm actually going to get on with this; incense and herbs seems a pretty safe bet, but I'm not sure how I'll get on with the mosses & flowers. On the other hand, if it's as chill & crisp as I'm hoping it'll turn out on me... of course, it might just turn to mud. [imp purchased!]

Wanderlust: Delphi. The smoke of Sacred Incense of Apollo twined through laurel branches, bay, and honey wine. Yesssss. Sweet and smokey and deep. I cannot see any ways in which this one could go wrong, given that I want to smell like a bonfire.

Wanderlust: Glasgow. The rich scent of wild blackberry breezing over gentle rosy heather. I - just love blackberries and heather, okay. I'm really excited to meet this one: it sounds very simple, and I'm curious to know what it's like up close and personal. I'm also not sure whether the fruit & florals will work on my skin.

Wanderlust: Tintagel. According to legend, the birthplace of King Arthur. The scent of a castle's great hall in the midst of joyous feasting. Spicy mulled wine flowing through the musky heat, warm leather and bright clash of armor, the damp branches of Cornish hawthorn, blackthorn, juniper, English elm and bayberry, and the magical tingle of dragon's blood resin. ... whereas I am absolutely certain that Tintagel will work on me; it's the wrong bit of Cornwall, but it's close enough to home for me to be really looking forward to it. I can't wait to find out how it develops.

Wanderlust: Jezirat al Tennyn. The Dragon's Isle: smoke and fire, earth and wind. The rage of the elements blasting over a primordial paradise. It sounds like a volcano (minus the actual sulphur): how could I not? :-) Having read some of the reviews on bpal.org, I'm thinking this is going to be more lush greenery and less harsh stone than I was after, so it's dropping off the wishlist for now.

Ars Amatoria: Siren. Bewitching, tantalizing and dangerously seductive. A thrilling, exotic blend — deceptively sweet, but spiked with malice. White ginger, jasmine, and a touch of vanilla and apricot. VANILLA AND APRICOT. I think this is by far and away the brightest of the scents I'm trying to track down, but I turn out to be completely okay with that, because: VANILLA AND APRICOT.

Chaos Theory VI. A base of vanilla, frankincense and amber, in varying proportions, on top of which gets added whatever BPAL felt like at the time. I'm pretty confident that this would turn out beautifully on me. ;) [purchased!]

Steamworks: Phoenix Steamworks. Burnished gold and oiled bronze notes with Abramelin incense and sage. Given what we already know I like, incense and sage seems like an obvious combination - and I'm really curious about the metals. [purchased!]