Gavin de Becker: The Gift of Fear
Dec. 19th, 2012 12:33 am[content notes: misogyny, abuse, violence]
Here is my one-sentence summary: Gavin de Becker makes a fundamentally reasonable point in the shittiest and most self-aggrandising way he can without having it be immediately obvious to everyone.
Also, he's a misogynist who doesn't understand geology.
Sadly, none of this was mentioned - that I recall - by any of the people I've seen recommending this book in activist and anti-abuse circles.
( In slightly more detail... )
Of course, these excerpts are only a few paragraphs from a 353 page book - but they're typical of a common theme and a common attitude towards his reader. He blithely insists people have choices and should leave abusive relationships sooner rather than later; it is a long time after that that he first acknowledges that many people (sorry, Gavin: women) are killed because they leave. Even then, he does a pretty shoddy job of explaining how that plays into the bigger picture of abusive dynamics, and why people shouldn't (as he promotes) be afraid to leave.
In closing: dude's a pillock and rather less of a polymath than he likes to think; spend your time reading something less infuriating.
Here is my one-sentence summary: Gavin de Becker makes a fundamentally reasonable point in the shittiest and most self-aggrandising way he can without having it be immediately obvious to everyone.
Also, he's a misogynist who doesn't understand geology.
Sadly, none of this was mentioned - that I recall - by any of the people I've seen recommending this book in activist and anti-abuse circles.
( In slightly more detail... )
Of course, these excerpts are only a few paragraphs from a 353 page book - but they're typical of a common theme and a common attitude towards his reader. He blithely insists people have choices and should leave abusive relationships sooner rather than later; it is a long time after that that he first acknowledges that many people (sorry, Gavin: women) are killed because they leave. Even then, he does a pretty shoddy job of explaining how that plays into the bigger picture of abusive dynamics, and why people shouldn't (as he promotes) be afraid to leave.
In closing: dude's a pillock and rather less of a polymath than he likes to think; spend your time reading something less infuriating.