kaberett | (Reply)

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I try really hard never to say that someone is spoiling me (e.g. on my birthday or something). Sometimes the phrase "I feel blessed" or similar can work as a substitute. And for young Reuben (5 years old in two weeks, omfg!), I try never to say that I'm spoiling him or that he's been spoiled, because, well, it's my job as his guideparent to do fun stuff with him and give him presents sometimes (and my doing so will in no way ruin him, and i still have to tell him 'no' plenty).

Meanwhile, i am currently having a big problem in my life/in my head with [wanting things that i can't have, and feeling bad for having wanted them]. I just read an article someone linked to on my fb about the cult of busy-ness [/paraphrase] and while (as i frequently do) i got a annoyed because the author doesn't consider the impact of disability, i was struck with the bit at the end about how it's not simple or easy, and the hardest part is learning to say no to things that actually do matter.

Ugh, self, it is okay to want things, even things we know we can't have, or don't work out, or the things where we have to make a decision and choose something else, or not-that-thing-that-we-wanted. Wanting does not make us bad. /o\