LOOK WHAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH
Feb. 12th, 2014 12:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kaberett
[A spotted Bengal cat sits smugly in the middle of an approximately brown beanbag in front of a laptop.]
This. Is the spotted murderbeast. Or the hellbeast. Or That Dreadful Cat. Or, frequently, that fucking cat.
She owns two of my partners.
Here is an illustrative anecdote about why I refer to her this way:
I was lying in bed without glasses on. She jumped onto the bed next to my feet, walked up to my head, sniffed my nose for a few seconds in the way that cats do, then withdrew just enough to make a speculative but very directed swipe at one of my eyes, with claws extended, to see what happened.
... she got kicked out of the room
... and sulked about it
... VERY LOUDLY
And here is another, from this weekend:
We have reached an uneasy truce consisting of (1) timeshare and (2) pretending to hate each other. Unfortunately somewhere along the line we seem to have inadvertently become fond - as far as I can tell, we are both baffled by this - and turn out to miss one another if I don't visit in a while. She woke me up at 4.30am on Sunday morning by speculatively attempting to shred one of my favourite shirts; I told her "no" without even getting out of bed & she stopped. This constitutes a Great Victory, because (1) she actually very obviously waited to see if it was a thing I was okay with her doing, and (2) THIS TIME IT WASN'T MY LITERAL EYES.
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(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 01:02 pm (UTC)It's good she's graduated to shirts instead of eyes - eyes are never kitty toys.
(*cough* That deleted comment was totally me, on the wrong account. Whoops.)
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 03:27 pm (UTC)(NEVER CAT TOYS.)
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 04:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 01:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 01:38 pm (UTC)"No you won't," said TOL, cheerfully. "You'll say 'B-bu-- but BAAAAAAAABY ;_________;'."
"Oh, I'll say that eventually," I replied. "But first I will tell you that I told you so."
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 02:16 pm (UTC)This one just attempts to murder me with love. I can deal with ~20 minutes of cat before allergy combines with asthma enough to make breathing tricky. So when I'm visiting t'parentals, cat is Not Allowed in my room, and /particularly/ on my bed.
...guess where she spends all her time trying to be?
On the other hand, last time I was home, I saw a white flash out the corner of my eye and went "No!" emphatically, and she actually didn't. Trainable cats wut.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 03:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 02:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 04:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 02:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 02:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 04:02 pm (UTC)But not as beautiful as having non-shredded eyes.
I'm glad you're getting to a place of uneasy maybe-fondness!
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 05:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 05:11 pm (UTC)That said, girlfriend turned out to be a bad'un so perhaps she was just trying to let me know about the future...
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 06:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 07:47 am (UTC)So the next time I am in face-range of the kitten, the kitten (who is smart and observant) very deliberately puts one paw on my tit, sticks his face into mine, and licks me square on the mouth.
It was very clearly a "well, if this is what a cat's got to do in order to get your attention...!" move.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-15 03:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 05:09 pm (UTC)ANYWAY
Bengal's are notoriously strong willed personalities. Sounds like you're winning out the power struggle/battle of wills. It's all about consistency and being firm in kicking them out of rooms/chairs etc!
I'm always amused by my cat Vincent who answers back when you tell him off, it is some funny shit. It does frequently result in you having a verbal argument with a cat though as he likes to get the last word.
This is one of many reasons I love cats - you don't automatically get a friend, you have to win them over until they basically say "Yes. You have been tested and found worthy. Continue"
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-12 08:44 pm (UTC)(He's never been smart. Sweet and loving, but denser than gold.)
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 12:48 am (UTC)I made friends with a cat called Stanley on Monday night! He decided that my lap passed the test and proceeded to sit on me when I was trying to get ready on Tuesday morning. I tried to turf him off. He tried to bite me. It was great.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 04:08 am (UTC)The current cats (and dog) understand a hiss as a warning noise for things, and as a last resort for cats there's always the spray bottle.
D
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 07:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 08:37 am (UTC)then withdrew just enough to make a speculative but very directed swipe at one of my eyes, with claws extended, to see what happened.
Cat The Scientist: "Maybe this human will let me poke the eyes out!"
This constitutes a Great Victory, because (1) she actually very obviously waited to see if it was a thing I was okay with her doing, and (2) THIS TIME IT WASN'T MY LITERAL EYES.
That seems a well-negotiated truce! The actual waiting to see if it was an allowed thing is particularly impressive.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 03:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-13 04:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-15 03:51 am (UTC)