who only by moving can balance

[2017 | 2018]

( Cooking. )

( Growth. )

( Academia. )

( Health and embodiment. )

( Travel. )

( Personal and other leisure. )

Intentions
I didn't pick a word for 2019, but 2018's was connection, and the narrative I'm constructing for myself now is that I didn't want a new word this year because I still had plenty to work on in that general vein.

I spent a lot of 2018 reflecting on (and struggling with) feeling lonely and isolated. My decreasing capacity for journeys outside the house solo has been further limiting my ability to socialise. I'm no longer feeling that isolation so acutely; in large part I think that's down to (thanks, nanila & those of you who carried the torch this year) having made a quiet decision to post something on Dreamwidth every day visible to people other than me. I decided at the beginning of the year that I didn't want to announce that it was what I was doing, because it felt like setting myself up for failure; I've occasionally felt as though I'm "cheating" by including my Monday todo/tada posts as A Post For The Day. But: it's been a really positive experience, overall. There were two days I ended up posting a little after midnight (and backdating for the sake of making my calendar view look nice, hush), but -- I ended up making fewer posts that felt like placeholders than I'd been expecting, and I've been really enjoying the sense of community and comfort I've been getting from your collective engagement and our ongoing conversations. Thank you.

I've also managed to renew some family connections: I started inviting my godcousins over for films and afternoon tea, and have been gradually attempting to invite more people over in a way that feels sustainable and nurturing. (I have a lot of guilt around this; it's a work in progress.) I've supported A in spending time with his families. I have worked on fraught relationships with close people. It's hard, and also, I feel much less alone.